My brother Jeff is very claustrophobic thanks to a prank my older brother Cliff played on him as a kid. Without going into a long story, let’s just say it was similar to being locked in the casket for a day, and you’ll get the idea. Not at all funny–but I went on the internet and found some phobias that, ARE funny…As long as they are not YOURS.
Ablutophobia: The fear of washing or bathing. Unfortunately, most of the people who have this fear don’t know it.
Allodoxaphobia: Fear of opinions. This is a fear that I and many other people I know don’t have. As they say opinions is like assholes–everyone has one.
Basophobia: Inability to stand. When I was younger, I had this quite a bit, but it seemed to happen more after a night of excessive drinking. I never knew that it was all because I had this phobia. I always thought it was because I liked to drink Rum & Cokes.
Chrometophobia: Fear of money. The only fear I have of money is the lack of it!
Cypridophobia: Fear of prostitutes and VD.-I’ve never used a prostitute but I know I have never been afraid of them but the VD I have always had a huge fear of it. Thank God I have never experienced it.
Defecaloesiophobia: Fear of a painful bowel movement. Maybe I have this and don’t know it? I have reached the age where Metamucil is my new best friend.
Gamophobia: Fear of marriage. After my first marriage was over I had gramophonic for 26 years. I then met this beautiful, caring and loving woman named Judy and I have been married now for over 2 years. It’s one of those doors you never know if it will ever open again until you find the right person who has the combination.
Genophobia: Fear of sex. With the earth’s population at 7,244,141,816 and counting, I don’t think this fear exists. My guess is an ugly psychologist who couldn’t get laid probably made it up–to compensate.
Medorthophobia: Fear of an erect penis. I always chuckle when I hear the ads for Viagra and then say if you have an erect penis for over four hours see a doctor. Hell with the doctor, it’s time to get out the black book if you know what I mean.
Novercaphobia: Fear of your step-mother. I’ll bet there are a lot of people who have this one. Some will admit it and others know it but are careful not to say anything. Go to rickcarlegofigure.com and check out my book!